Commentary, opinion and news on the world of hockey.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

NHL to proposal deal

Sportsnet is reporting that the NHL is about to pitch a deal to the players, no later than tomorrow. The web site provided little detail, and given their track record with "insider information", I won't hold my breath.

So, because we have no idea about how far the NHL will bend - if they do - what will be inlcuded in the latest offer? Well, here's the Red Line take on what the new proposal may include:

- A hybrid salary cap; The cap will remain soft until adequately stimulated. At that point, the cap becomes hard until the applied stimulation forces it to reach a pre-determined threshold, more commonly known as 'the point of no return', where it will once again become soft, and thus out of commission for at least half an hour.

- The players must offer an official apology, preferably via a Hallmark card signed by each and every player, that accurately conveys the sorrow that each player feels for continually taking financial advantage of the innocent owners over the last ten years. After all, the owners didn't really know that they were dishing out all that money, did they?

- Absolutely no revenue sharing; Because why on Earth would they do that?

- Future CBA meetings must continue to be held in 'secret' locations and must never be in the same place for more than 6 hours at one time. The NHLPA and NHL representatives must carry black briefcases and can only speak in Klingon. Word of the secret meetings must not be leaked to the media any earlier than 36 hours prior to said meeting taking place and any owner or player caught stating his opinions publically will now be flogged.

- The players must roll back their salaries 96%. The owners offer this because they know full well that the hybrid salay cap mentioned above will only remain hard for a very short period of time, and as such, inflation rates in the NHL will rise to never before seen heights.

Of course I jest, but my point is that the NHLPA will turn their nose up at the new offer just as much as they would at the above Red Line proposal. So really, why bother? Just cancel the season already.

Comments? Opinons?


Post a Comment

<< Home